Humor Me

Tough Guy

A guy is at the Pearly Gates waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is
leafing through this Big Book to see if he is worthy of entering. St. Peter
goes through the book several times, furrows his brow and says to the guy,
"You know, I can't see that you did anything really good in your life but,
you never did anything bad either. Tell you what; if you can tell me of one
really good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Well, there was this one time when I
was driving down the highway and I saw a giant group of Outlaw Biker Gang
Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was
going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of them torturing this
girl. Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk,
and walked straight up to the leader of the gang - a huge guy with a
studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I
walked up to the leader, the Outlaw Biker Gang Rapists formed a circle around
me.

So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head
with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them,
'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick,
deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"

St. Peter, impressed, says, "Really? When did this happen?"

"Oh, about two minutes ago."